Thoughts on Ronda Rich’s “Seductive Flirting”

Every year I re-read What Southern Women Know about Flirting by Ronda Rich. This book has been a staple in my library for the last 9 years! I first read this book the summer before my sophomore year in college (2008) and I have recommended it to almost every woman I have met since.

That summer was also my first time preparing for a sorority recruitment. That year, our brilliant and beautiful recruitment chair recommended this book as a summer reading to prepare for Fall recruitment. There is a whole section in this book about social flirting, which was primarily what we focused on in our workshops….I like to think it helped 🙂

However, beyond college, this book has seen me through so many seasons of life. I feel like every time I read it I learn something new. In addition to social flirting, which applies to how you may interact with strangers, friends, and work colleagues, Ronda Rich also talks about courtship and seductive flirting. I thought, given the nature of this blog, I would share some of her insights here regarding the latter.

In chapter twelve, The Fine Art of Winning his Heart with Red Silk and Black Lace, Rich discusses the importance of lingerie and self-care in seductive flirting.

One of the principal messages in this chapter is the importance of thinking “Beautiful Thoughts.” It all really does start there, doesn’t it? It’s no secrete that confidence is one of the most attractive qualities in another person. Lingerie, in my opinion, is an accessory (and a very important one) that helps facilitate a state of mind.

Rich also discusses the importance of beauty treatments, fragrance, and posture. With regard to beauty treatments, she simply recommends treating yourself well. That is to say, we all should establish a routine of pampering ourselves, whether that is with a bubble bath and glass of wine, or a tea party and lingerie…it is so important to spend time with yourself doing whatever makes you feel pretty. This also means wearing your silk gowns to bed every night, if only, and especially for yourself!
With regard to fragrance…Rich states that it should be a part of your self-care routine, but also a part of the seductive flirting process, as fragrance is a powerful aphrodisiac. She recommends dabbing it on before bed, occasionally spraying your pillows, and layering during the day. Note: Layering a fragrance helps with its lasting power. Layering is also all about the process; pampering yourself with lotion, powder, and then perfume.
My personal favorite is:

Chanel’s Coco Mademoiselle
You can find the lotion, powder, and perfume here!

Finally, she also stresses the importance of the “Perfect Match!” She writes this with regard to matching lingerie, stating that:
“Matching underneath is just as important as matching on top. When you wear sexy lingerie, you feel sexy. And when you feel sexy, you act sexy. It’s that simple. “

My take away from this chapter is that self-care builds self-love, and self-love builds confidence!! I hope you all decide to check out What Southern Women Know about Flirting, and some of Ronda Rich’s other work.
There really is something for everyone in this book ❤

Until next time,

xoxo
Marie

On Beauty, Perfection, & Babe Paley

“People read themselves into books, altering what they need &
discarding what they don’t.”
– Charles Bukowski

This month I have been reading The Swans of Fifth Avenue, and I have found myself identifying with the character Babe Paley. Who, by the way, was actually a beautiful socialite living in NY in the 50s. This book is considered fiction, but it is layered with so much history, it almost mirrors a biography or fan fiction. The book is written about Truman Capote and the scandal the ensued after the publication of his novel “Answered Prayers.” You can read more on that here.

But back to Babe. Of course, we all read ourselves into stories, and who wouldn’t want to identify with Babe!? She is the beauty of the story. However, it is not her glamour or status that I identify with. I find myself identifying with the character’s insecurities, her mannerisms, and approach to relationships…the way I once identified with Esther in The Bell Jar, or Holly in Breakfast at Tiffanys.

I have often found that a book transcends from being simply a book, to one of the many loves of my life, in just one moment. It is the moment that you read a passage or a quote that resonates with something so authentically you. I think the beauty in that moment is: from then on the rest of the book is self discovery.

“I am out with lanterns, looking for myself…”
-Emily Dickinson

It is not everyday or even every year that I find a book I feel this way about. When it happens though, it really is like falling in love. And in that same fashion, I have found that no matter how the story ends, I have recognized some part of myself in those pages, and always treasure that.

With all that said – in the spirit of authenticity and makeup, I wanted to share this lovely passage here:

“And to tell the truth, she was dependent on her cosmetics as others might be dependent on alcohol, in a tactile, pleasurable way. She loved the faint, flowery smell of her favorite blush; she delighted in the heavy silver of the brushes, the silkiness of the bristles against her skin. She enjoyed applying foundation, personally mixed for her by Elizabeth Arden herself, taking the sponge and dabbing it on her skin, each dab like a scale of armor, of power. She never grew tired of seeing her cheekbones come into sculpted glory with each swipe of the brush; she stared into the mirror as she blended and stroked and dabbed, and little by little, like pointillism, the face she knew and depended on, emerged into a complete portrait. Perfection.”
-Melanie Benjamin; The Swans of Fifth Avenue

P.S. You can find the book here =)